'Turn this way, look at me.'

Read this.

I don't usually like stuff like this but a friend of mine told me about it so I thought I'd give it a go.
It's made me cry so many times that my eyes are hurting.
It's such a bitter sweet story.
Some parts are horrible but I understand that they're necessary.
I also admire that she did it for such an important cause.
It's not completed yet but still, I really think it's worth the time it takes to read.
Anyway.
I really think you should read it if you stumble upon this blog (:

How can you not feel it? What are you, DEAD?!

I need my hair sorting out.
I want it back ginger.
I want it curly again.

Anyway. I've spent all day baking. I've burnt my hand but damn the cake looks nice. Waiting for it to cool so I can ice it and then you shall recieve pictures.

They are not demons, not men, BUT DOGS!

I'm in desperate need of sleep. My eyes feel like boiled eggs and I'm sure that if I looked in the mirror they would resemble some. I've had 2 hours sleep. I was running round the park at 6 this morning! Although I did feel like an ice cube when I got in.
I also decided at a silly time last night/this morning/ ungodly time that I should have been asleep if I was normal that it would be a good idea to stretch my ears again so now they've joined in the hurting too.

My Ben Templesmith novels got dug out the other day, much to my joy and relief. He's possible the greatest man alive on the face of this Earth in my opinion. His books are brilliant. The art is beautiful yet horrid at the same time. There's no detail and yet there is more than enough. The drawings are simple but that's why I love them. Everything that needs to be conveyed is done so without fuss. It's just there on the page, waiting for. you to find it.

Lookie here!!!!!
He's the only thing I'd want to live in America for <3

Wormwood 1 is back in print. That has to be my favourite of all the series. I've been trying to get hold of it for so long now I almost gave up.
I also really want Fell.
I'll get it one day.
Hell anything he's drawn would be wonderful.
Maybe he'll read this and send me a copy.
*crosses everything she can possibly imagine*
I'm allowed to wish right?

'We take all the males and use them as orc bait.'

Getting the giggles at 4 in the morning is NOT a good idea. Especially when you can't laugh quietly.
I can't sleep.
I've tried, but I'm too warm and my stomachs cramping up again.

To think about rules now would be meaningless...

My WoW friends gone. Gunna be lonely only being able to kill myself for a while ):
I really need to get J playing it again but he's too busy shooting people in the face. Game wise, not IRL.
Life at my nans is going ok. It's a lot quiter here than how it is back at mums but at the same time, I kinda miss all the noise and running about.

Roast space beef.

I think I'm going mad. It might be a defense mechanism to cope with all the uproar recently but I'm 99% sure that I am infact, losing my mind. I've been laughing now for nearly 3 hours. Not a constant laugh, because I think I'd have died by now, but random squeaks of joy when I remember anything that is remotely funny.
Wouldn't be quite so bad if my laugh didn't annoy me.
My real laugh, the horrid yet amazing witch cackle has disappeared, only to be replaced by a sharp intake of breathe that produces a squeak.
Yes.
A squeak.
Every time I do it, J turns round and gives me a foul look, convinced I'm doing it to annoy him.
Maybe I should start?

What's wrong with this picture?

I've realised that I either have to be; not looking at the camera, pulling a stupid face or be EXTREMELY drunk for me to look remotely good in a photo.
Scroll down for proof.












































































Obvs this isn't me. I just think it's amazing <3

For a lack of better words 'SHUT YO FACE!'

"Those jeans make your ass look huge."
"Don't sit like that, you look like a man."
"That twang in your voice is HORRIBLE Jessie."
"I think you need to dye your hair, ginger doesn't suit you."

Oh how I love the compliments I recieve :')

How can ginger not suit me? It's my natural hair colour for crying out loud!
I really need to go and pick my Xbox up but there's no one available until the weekend.
Boooo!

I'm like 2 peneth of drop dead.

I've moved out.
It's weird that the house that I only used to visit has now become my home. I wonder when she's gunna run out of stories to tell me. Hopefully the answer is never. I like hearing about my childhood from another point of view. I still ask if I can get something to eat out of habit and text to say that I'm coming round. My nan gets mad, telling me to stop being stupid, that I live here now and no longer have to ask, but it's engrained. All the years this has been a refuge and now I live here. I can't seem to accept it just yet.

You're the only Space Cow that I like.

LOL!
It's not a seedy site, I promise.
The video IS suitable for work.
That I also promise :')

I want a caterpillar like that.

I could have been a contender.

Why don't we get this kinda stuff in England?

Watch that and tell me, honestly, that you wouldn't go to the cinema to see it.
I can tell you know, I'd be the first one in the queue :')

For those of you who didn't trust me enough to click on it without thinking I'd sent you to some seedy website...












TADA!
This is so much better than the hyena pictures.
By a million times.

I wont be saying that when I wake up in the middle of the night to it hanging over me :')

"All assassins are fucked up in some way. Nothing surprises me anymore."

2 posts in one night.
My, I AM spoiling you.

After the Res post, I couldn't help but show you this.
My all time favourite game.
This is the only reason I own a Wii.

"I'm weary of this gilded world, all glitter, no soul."
P.s. Ignore the Call of Duty advert. It sucks.

"To the window, to the walls, 'til the sweat drops off my..." "Don't you DARE!"

Hi :D
I promise that I'm not gunna moan today/yesterday/ this morning.
I looked back and realised that I whine, alot.
Dear God I want to be sick.
Why?
Why would that be arousing?
Eurgh *shudders*.

I hate eggs.

Pour vous.

I think I need to take some time away from WoW. It's in my dreams again, which is never a good sign. The last thing to make it into my dreams was Resident Evil. This may not sound so bad. Nightmares from watching it before bed you might be thinking.
Wrong.
This was from playing the game.
16 hours straight.
A day.
For roughly 2 month.
It got really bad when I realised that my upstairs landing had the same layout as the landing of the East Saving room. A place where as you first open the door, a zombie appears at the side of you, ready to maul you and eat your brains as a warm and tasty bed time snack if you haven't mastered the controls (which is god damn hard to do). If like me, you had mastered the controls, you could fluently turn to the side, raise your gun and launch a bullet into his head. If not. Well, let's just say, unless you made a zombie roast, the East Save wasn't so East safe.

This is what came back :')

















Me and a friend started naming the zombies so they weren't as horrifying when they opened doors (apparently they can do this) or jumped through windows.
There was Vomiting Jimmy (he threw up acid on you as you tried to run past him on the stairs).
Peaches guarded the East Save room the first time you got there.
Marcus was the one we kept alive the longest. It was easier to have him alive and walking along the upstairs balcony, then dead (but not for long) and coming back as a Crimson Head (see above).
Then there was...













But.
The less said about him, the better :')

None of them will ever love you the way I do.

Look how dedicated I am to you.
I logged out of Enenria just to come and update. This is partly because A made me feel guilty about not updating when I saw her.
I'm in the middle of a crisis that may lead to moving house YET AGAIN! I don't know if my tiny mind can cope with packing my life up in boxes and carting them to a different place for the third time this year. IT'S ONLY MARCH! I'm still on the fence with this one though. I'm scared that if I do move, the problems it will cause else where wont be worth the end result. But I suppose I'll get to that when the time comes.

I'm getting extremely fed up of the weather. The miserable sky is not helping my mood, nor is it helping me make up my mind. I'll sit staring out of the window, wondering what birds must do when it rains rather than trying to sort my own life out.
I know you're all going 'Stop playing WoW then you stupid bitch.' but I don't want to. It gives me something to take my mind off it, and for a little while, I don't have to worry that my new decision may just break my family apart at the seams.
And so I continue to play.

...

You know you love someone when you can sit next them, just after they've farted and know that it doesn't get much better than this.

Booooooo!

I sit here looking at this blog nearly every day, trying to pull ideas out of my game rotted brain that would entertain anyone who happened to stumble upon this pile of rubbish. And nearly everyday I just close the web page and load up something else. I have nothing really to talk about if you take out the bf and WoW, neither of which will entertain anyone who doesn't know/ play the said topics. Obviously you can't play the bf, that's what my role is...
It's come to my attention that I have failed in life once again.
The job interview that I didn't mention here due to me not wanting to jinx it, went badly.
The day started badly, I cried, I panicked, I cried some more, I missed a funeral, I didn't get the job, I sat in my room for several hours not knowing what to do with myself. It didn't sink in straight away what had happened to me.
I had woken up that morning feeling confident, I had been there before, the people who were going to interview me didn't scare me, I'd worked with them before. I had had my online friend wish me luck in 2 different languages the night before. I really thought I was going to do ok.
And then it happened.
Something went wrong.
I'm not going to say what happened, because unless you were there, it would just seem like a pointless and idiotic complication that could have been easily fixed. But I panicked. And I couldn't cope. No one was helping me. Everyone was making things harder for me. I burst into tears in the middle of the street.
I got there in the end but the day was already ruined. My confidence had gone. My stutter came back. I knew I wasn't going to do it.
And I didn't.
It was a huge kick in the teeth for me.
One of many recently I suppose.

On a nicer subject. J and I have been together 9 months now.