Mafdet: She Who Runs Swiftly.

I have this thing where if I see the same thing in the same place for more than a week, I start looking for it everyday. If I don’t see it after that, I start to panic and think that something horrible is going to happen. Take the bus ride to work. As I’m getting into the city centre we pass a river. For about 4 months, I’ve seen a Heron there, in the middle of the river. If for some reason it’s not there, which it wasn’t this morning, I start thinking it’s dead or something. All these horrible ideas go through my mind about what could have happened to the poor thing. Once I start I can’t stop myself. It’s awful.
It’s exactly the same with the old man and his dog that I see on the way home. He’s always sat on a bench with a tiny Highland Terrier. If he’s not there I start thinking that maybe he’s been hit by a bus or something and we’re going to cruise by his mangled body further up the road.
I’m a horrible person. I think this and then I feel like I’m wishing the said thought upon the person and then it will actually happen.
I might have to just start sleeping from the moment I get on the bus to the moment it pulls into the station.
Or I should just not be allowed to look out of the windows.

On the subject of buses... I’m sick of how rude people are. This morning a woman (I’m saying woman, even though she had more of a beard than my dad) got on and sat pretty near the front, on the seat closest to the aisle, leaving the one beside her completely free. She had no bags with her and nothing to stop her moving up and putting them at her feet if she did. The bus I get on a morning fills up really quickly what with all the college students. This woman a few seat ahead of me, sat and watched as a girl who was having alot of trouble walking try and find a place to sit. I stood up to give the girl my seat and still this (wo)man stayed sat down, looking around until we got to the bus station.
I made sure to hit her with my bag as I got off the bus.

QAD. Thoth: Lord of Divine Words.

If you could have any super power you wanted (but only 1) what would you choose?

I’d have the power to bring inanimate objects to life. I could re animate fossils and bring back the dinosaurs... only with alot less skin. I reckon that way, they’d be a lot scarier and then NO ONE would come near me. It’s make walking down my street hassle free.
The whole of my life would be like something out of Beauty and the Beast only instead of a curse, I’d have just done it for fun. Imagine having your mirror talk back to you (probably not a good thing in my case). If they no longer wanted to be able to talk, I’d just revert them back to what they used to be... and check every now and then, just to make sure.

Tefnut: She of Moisture.

I’ve found that if it’s raining on my way to work, I’m going to have a pretty good day. I don’t know why this happens, it might be because I’m expecting the office to reflect on the miserable weather I can see out of the small window but I usually stand corrected. Like today, I woke up when J got up to get ready for work, half an hour earlier than what I should have been awake but never mind about that, I hadn’t seen him for a week, I wanted to make up for ‘abandoning him’.
The bus ride was ok, there were no screaming idiots on it, I had my iPod, it was pay day. All in all, this morning, I was cooking with gas.

Even work was pretty good. A and I talked all day, about ghosts and weird stuff that's happened to us. Lets just say, I'll be sleeping with the light on for a few days.

(Busted song reference)

Anyway. The only real reason I wanted to blog today is below.

DOLPHINS IN SPACEEEEEE. (Ignore the amazingly crap way the picture was created)

That is all.

QAD. Atum: The Complete One.

If you were given the power of flight, would you take it?

Depends on the way I would be able to fly.
The thought of having wings may seem cool but what would you do with them? They’d be so awkward in day to day activities. Imagine having these huge appendages just stuck out all the time. Maybe if you could absorb them into your skin it wouldn’t be so bad, but what about the clothes you had on? They’d get ruined all the time, having to cut holes in them to allow your wings to come out.

There’s the whole ‘Superman’ way of flying but I always thought that you’d look incredibly stupid just whizzing through the air.

A said what if you had like a broomstick or a magic carpet? Maybe then that’d be acceptable but still. If that was the case, you’d have to be wary of the weather. If it was too windy, you’d get blown about and maybe just fall and die.

If I had a choice, I’d want to be able to run really fast, like Dash from the Incredibles.

Or Teleport.

Maybe I’m getting too far ahead of myself.

I’ll just stick to walking everywhere...

Khepri: He who is Coming into Being.

Ok so I was going to have an amazing post today about work, but the picture that would have made the whole post make sense, is for some reason, not in my inbox. So instead of having the post today, I'll do it tomorrow. It'll be better then anyway, because I'll have my own laptop back and have all the links and stuff I usually have saved there. So yeah, you'll just have to mak do with the QAD.

QAD. Atum: Perfection.

How do you think personal relationships would change if people could read minds?

If people people could read each others minds the entire world, not just personal relationships would go to Hell. There'd be no boundaries between people, they'd know everything about someone straight away. During arguments your other half would know exactly what you wanted to say, even if you were too scared to say it. They'd know if you were annoyed at them even if, to stop an argument forming, you didn't want to tell them. I really wouldn't like to know what people around we were thinking.
Fact.

Shu: He who Rises Up.

I think I’ve become addicted to ranting. Like completely addicted. I love it. I think I may actually have an illness or something. I don’t even rant about faintly important things, like Society or a corrupt legal system. I rant about the weather, about how the software at work never does what it's supposed to, about how rude people at work are.
All it takes is for me to find something that I find even a tiny bit annoying and it’s all over. This horrible mass of angry words swells up inside me until I can’t help myself and I just spit it out. You can always tell when I’m ranting because I talk a lot faster than usual. I don’t even have to be able to see it to get mad about it.
Take today for example. I ended up complaining to A about how my friend tries to sexy dance with me and I have no idea what to do back. Then my complaint turned into a rant about how she doesn’t stop and I try to find ways of backing out of it but everytime I move, she kind of follows me, WHILE STILL SEXY DANCING! There were hand gestures and full body demonstrations. I’m afraid to think of what it looked like to anyone who wasn’t in the conversation (that would be everyone who walked by except A). Probably like I’d just escaped from a crazy house and had ambushed A on her way into town. I feel bad that she has to put up with me sometimes...
I had a rant about the weather when I came home on Facebook.
It’s awful. I’d typed out this huge raving comment before I’d even really realised what it was I was saying.


Jessie 'Fangs' Young:
It's been horrendous all effing week.
I hate this kind of weather.
It needs to make up it's bloody mind and either be a MILLION degrees or snow for 4 months.
Not try to rain and just cry cos it can't do it properly.
It's like a semi erection rain.
Rain's piss.
Cos you can't do anything.
Your hair gets ruined, your make up ends up half way down your face.
You're clothes get wet and then you have to sit in the pub in damp jeans and it's just SHIT!


That's a slightly nicer version of the original. Lets just say, God wouldn't have appreciated the previous message...
All that over a little bit of rain. I need medicating or something.
I should also probably go to bed. I have to get the bus to work and I still have no idea what time it’s supposed to come to the new bus stop. I’m not even going to rise to the bait of buses. It’s not worth losing my sanity over.

QAD. Pakhet: She who Tears.

What is your earliest memory?

I'm gunna go with one from when we lived in Huddersfield. I'd have been about 4 (we lived in the pub at this time). In the living room of the pub, beside the tv was a China Leopard. I was obsessed with that thing, convinced that it came to life when I left the room. I used to talk to it and stroke it like you would a real cat, thinking that just because it didn't move when I was near it didn't mean that it couldn't hear me. I'm pretty sure I gave it some really dumb name, like Kitty or something, I wasn't the most creative 4 year old.

I remember that I tried to catch it 'moving' and so I put a video on (probably Robin Hood: Men in Tights) so that if I tried to creep up on it, it wouldn't hear me coming. I turned 'Kitty' round so that she was facing the tv and couldn't see the door and then told her I was going to get a drink and that I'd be right back. I left the room and stomped down the hall until I got to the top of the stairs. I 'ran' down them (ran up and down the top three steps a few times) and then crept back up. S had joined me by this time, asking what I was doing. He laughed when I told him about Kitty but joined in anyway, probably wanting to see the defeat on my face when I didn't catch the China ornament moving. We crept back along the hallway and stopped just outside the door. S tried to go in before me but after a lot of arm waving and holding my breath he let me check on Kitty first. I peeped round the door frame... She wasn't facing the tv anymore. She was on the fireplace.

I was amazed.

For a moment I couldn't move.

I'd caught her!

Kitty could move!

I tore down the stairs and into the bar, completely ignoring the fact that I shouldn't be here. I had to tell my nan. I had to tell her that Kitty could move! It was nearly too much for my 4 year old mind to grasp. I remember yelling at my nan that Kitty was on the fireplace and she just stared at me, confused as to who Kitty was and how I'd even gotten into the pub (the door connecting the pub and the house was always locked, the key hung out of my reach). She made me slow down and tell her (and the small group of people who had gather around the wide eyed me) everything again, slowly. I took a huge breath and told her about Kitty moving. My nan stared at me a moment and then walked towards the door to the house. She yelled S down and cracked him round the back of the head.

Turns out, S had been watching me as I tried to 'catch out' Kitty and had gone into the room when I wasn't looking, moved Kitty then agreed to help me. He shattered my dreams of Kitty ever moving in a matter of minutes.

Bastard.

QAD. Brimo: The Angry One.

What is your fondest childhood memory? How often does it come to mind?

When I was small, my nan used to take S and I to the caravan during the Summer. It was this huge static thing in the middle of Bridlington. At the side of it was this steep grassy hill that lead down to another 4 or 5 caravans and then a cliff.

I wasn't allowed anywhere near it on my own but sometimes, when S was in a good mood, we'd pack some sandwiches into a bag and he'd take me to the cliffs. At the bottom of them was a tiny pebble beach. The only way to get to it was to walk down maybe 100 rickety wooden steps. Most of them were missing and alot of the ones left were rotten. S used to go down first, testing them as he went, then telling me which ones I could stand on and which ones would break.

I can't remember ever seeing anyone on that beach except S and I.

It was always full of driftwood and shells. We'd gather some for nan and skip rocks for a while. When we go hungry S would pull me up onto a part of the cliff that stuck out and we'd eat chocolate spread sandwiches and always leave the crusts.

We'd stay there until the last possible minute, right up until the sea reached the bottom step and then leave. Nan would be waiting for us with a cup of hot chocolate and some cake.

They were the good days.

Erebus: Mists of Darkness.

I had this post all typed out and ready to publish, but just before I did, I read it back to myself and began to hate it. So yeah, no Mythology post today. Gutting really.

When I was a kid (I'm talking a real kid, like 4 or 5 here) I lived in a pub with my mum, nan and S. S and I weren't allowed in the bar when the pub was open and were banished upstairs into the house part of the place due to a series of incidents. More on those in later posts.

Anyway, like every pub there was an arcade game in the corner (I remember ours was near the door) and it had that Bubble game, you know, the one where you played as a dinosaur and had to clear the screen of coloured bubbles. I thought it was called Bubble Bobble, but I've Googled it and I can't remember it ever looking like this...

Maybe my 5 year old mind was addled by the amount of time I spent on this game and remembers only the dragon and the bubbles. It probably did look like this, I'm just too tired and angry to look properly.

Careless blogging right there.

Well, we were only allowed on this game before the pub opened, so we used to wake up really early, sneak downstairs into the main pub area, get ourselves a Coke and some Pork Scratchings (God we were disgusting) and take it in turns to pop as many bubbles as we could.

We once tried playing hide and seek, but after I ran face first into the pub counter (the bit that lifts up to allow you to get behind the bar. It had fallen down during the game and I didn't know until it was too late) and bust my nose and lip we decided that it wasn't a good game to play. Well, we didn't so much decide it as my mum did.

It was in this pub too that I completely destroyed our very expensive stand alone bath. For some unknown reason, I thought it'd be really good idea to wake up one night and tip loads of stuff into the said bath and make a 'potion'. This concoction contained everything you find in a bathroom (shampoo, conditioner, bleach, hair dye, bath pearls, bath bombs etc) and a few things that you don't find in baths, like nail polish and roses. Lets just say, that when my mum found me (asleep on the bath room floor) she wasn't in the greatest of moods...

How effing cute was I?

QAD. Demeter: Bringer of Seasons.

What is the first thing you look at when you meet a new person?

It doesn't matter what gender they are, if I meet someone new, my eyes are instantly drawn to either their eyes or their hair.

I like pointy facial features (I'm a freak) so if you have a sharp nose, chances are, I'm going to want to be friends with you.
Saying that, J doesn't have a pointy nose so maybe it's not just that.
I also really like ginger hair, like dark ginger, even on boys (a lot of people don't agree with me on this). Once again, J doesn't have ginger hair (well, he does, but it's only his facial hair that's ginger so it doesn't really count).
Another thing that I like are eyes (obviously, most people prefer their friends have have atleast one) but only unusually coloured ones. They have to really stand out for me to care about them (God I sound so up myself). My mum has 1 black one and 1 brown one (some genetic thing that skips a generation. All I can say is gutting for me, win for my kids... Only the girls though). S and C have the prettiest Greeny/Blue eyes I have ever seen.
And J?
J's eyes are B E A UTIFUL! (and I'm not just saying this from a gf's point of view.) They're usually pale green but on a morning, when he first wakes up, they're brown and blue. I'm pretty sure he's fed up of hearing me say "Oh, they've changed again."

Oh well....

Harpy: That which Snatches.

Ok so how many blog posts a day is too many? I'm worried that maybe I'm spamming Raptors little arse off and at the same time, I can't stop. I'm not even ashamed that he's suffering with my constant posting and editing.

I think I've just been hit by a small Karma stick, because as I typed I didn't care about Rapt, my eye really started to hurt. I'm sorry...

Anyway, that's not what this is about. I'm watching something on tv (I have no idea what it is and I'm too lazy to move to get the remote to check) and it's about this trek up a mountain in the Himalayas to find some evidence of a tiger than is supposed to live there.
Well, so far, they haven't found any yet, but the guy is lost in some mountains with a big cat near him.

Oh, he's safe.

Right, distraction over, this is what I wanted to post:

This is one of the things they found instead of the tiger, It's an Asian Golden Cat and I can honestly say, it's one of the most beautiful thing animals I have ever seen after a Sand Cat (the Latin name of this makes me laugh).

Final note, they found the tiger. Well, tigers; they caught 2 on camera, a male and a female.

Nature Win.

Question a Day keeps the Doctor away.

Would you want to live forever? Does your answer change depending on whether or not everyone else gets to live forever as well?

Funnily enough I was talking about this yesterday. I never thought Immortality would be a good thing to have because you'd constantly have to watch the people around you die.

Perhaps if you had the power to grant Immortality to another person then it wouldn't be so bad because if you really liked certain people, you could live with them forever.

It'd also be a good idea if you could take away the Immortality (in case you ever fell out. Living forever with someone you hated wouldn't be an ideal life).

That's why I never wanted to be a vampire.

^^^^^ That's another reason....

Taweret: One who is Great.

Surprisingly I didn’t dream about Dinosaurs last night. I did however have a dream that contained a Fantasia Walkthrough… Withdrawal symptoms from the Xbox and too much coffee before bed perhaps?

I’ve been putting way too much thought into the whole ‘Raptor as a pet’ thing. I was sat awake this morning at about 1 thinking of names for him (yes, I’ve even decided on the gender of metaphorical Velociraptor). I was going to name him Orion, but then decided that it sounds more like a name you give to something that can fly; like a Pterodactyl. So I changed my mind, he’s going to be call Ptolemy (like the Astronomer). I then realised that I’m NEVER going to have a pet raptor, because well, I’m never going to find a genie in a lamp, or become God, or inherit the powers of God. I went to sleep after that, feeling thoroughly upset about this revelation…

I need a life.

On another note, I’ve become horribly addicted to Wikipedia. It’s the greatest website EVER. I must have spent 4 hours yesterday, clicking ‘random article’ and reading whatever rubbish it threw at me. Did you know there’s an International Plumbing Code? No? Me either until yesterday. Sure, some of the stuff it gives me is really rubbish and I don’t even read it but hey, it’s Wiki, not God. Like now, I got this page… Yoghurt Shop Murders? Why would there even be an article about that?

I’ll repeat my earlier statement… I need a life.

OH!

I’ve just remembered, Random Superpower Generator. Hours of fun, all at the click of a button.

"Jessie Fangs. has the power to slide into electronics. She brawls wielding a savage tentacle made from diamond and she boasts all of the powers and talents of a fish. Jessie Fangs. has the ability to become immovable and she attacks with a terrible club that also grants an exceptional resistance to mental attack. Shamefully, Jessie Fangs. becomes slow in the presence of corbomite."

If only it was true…

Amunet: One who is Hidden.

I really enjoy spending time with S (Mums brother). We grew up together as kids (there’s 5 years between us). We made forts out of blankets, fought over who got the green Lego base, built death robots with Meccano (mine never had the same killing promise as S’ did), watched Robin Hood: Men in Tights over and over together.

Sure we fought, hell there was even a time he pushed me down the stairs in my pram. There was also the time when he knocked my front tooth out on a see-saw (the other one had fallen out a week before), but it was FUN. He did those things with love.

I remember watching E & B (my 2 younger sisters) play together before they moved to my dads and it was never the same. The fought, all the time, over everything. They never seemed to get along the way me and S did. Maybe it’s because we weren’t actual brother and sister, just acted like it.

Anyway, that’s not what this post is about. It’s about my day, it just so happens, that the only person I’ve seen all day has been S, so he’s in this post a lot.

When he finally woke up after going to have the greatest nap of all time (he went to sleep at 10 in the morning and woke back up at half 4) we got into a stupid conversation about games. The whole discussion was how some games can make you look like a crazy merchant if you gather items before your supposed to.

S: You think I should kill this giant green dragon?

Me: I think you should stomp on it’s face.

S: Wouldn’t exactly be stomping on its face per say.

Me: Then it’s not good enough.

From what I can gather, he’s running round with a Green dragon egg in his bag, an Orc Lords head and a Star Sapphire. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what game he’s playing. All I know is that for once, it’s NOT World of Warcraft.

Anyway, this post is pretty crap. I’m gunna stop it now.

P.S.

I was talking to S about this post and here are his wishes:

1) All of us to be transported to a distant planet and stuck in 1400 mindset (the whole, no weapons except swords kind of thing). He said that this would make the wars more glorious, like the old ones, where you rode into battle on a steed. (I argued that this is infact 2 wishes and that it should be seperated but he wasn't having any of that. For the sake of my sanity I let him have it his way)

2) He also agreed that Dinosaurs should come back, but life size. His reasoning?

"Can you imagine how cool it would be to just pop to the shop... ON TOP OF A VELOCIRAPTOR!" I pointed out that you would have a lot of trouble getting ON said Dinosaur but apparently his would be trained. He also said that they'd be amazing to use as warfare. Can you imagine soldiers riding into battle not on horses, but on Dinosaurs. I have to admit, that would be pretty cool.

3) He'd wish he was immortal.

There are a lot of things wrong with his wishes (for one, there is NOTHING that would help out anyone other than S, but he's a a pretty selfish) so lets just hope to God that he never finds this metaphorical Genie.

Maahes: He who is True Beside Her.

I was talking to ‘J’ (the boyfriend) last night about what he’d do if he ruled the world. I’d been reading a blog post about the same topic and I was curious as to what he’d think of first. I was expecting one of the usual answers; World Peace, end all wars, abolish famine. You know, general, greater good answers.

No.

He broke the stereotypical answer and replied with “I’d make an awesome pc.” I’ll admit that I laughed but it got me thinking; What would most of us do if we could rule the world/ have 3 wishes?

The 3 wishes one is usually the most common one where people opt for the greater good because you have 3 chances to change the world. You can choose to end wars, stop famine AND have World Peace. ALL AT ONCE! But how many people can stand there, with their hand on their heart and say that those were the things they’d wish for?

I couldn’t. Maybe I’d wish for one of those things, but there’s that selfish part in everyone where they want something all to themselves. I spe

nt quite a while last night thinking about what I’d wish for if I had 3 wishes (the whole “I wish for a million wishes” isn’t an option. Let’s just say this metaphorical genie in the metaphorical lamp isn’t that good). Here’s what I came up with.

1) I’ve had this obsession recently with Dinosaurs coming back so my first wish would be just that, to bring back the dinosaurs. Not in the whole ‘Jurassic Park’ kind of bringing them back where everything goes wrong and loads of people die. If I could bring them back, I’d want them to be small, like maybe, a T-Rex being the size of a Pug (dog). That way, I figured a Velociraptor would be roughly pocket size and I could take one to work and let it run around the desk.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’d be my first wish.

2) I’d wish for an endless supply of money. And this isn’t another selfish reason. Well, it is to an extent. I figured that if I had all this money, whatever I didn’t solve with the last wish, I could donate loads of money to, thus stopping it that way. Plus, I want to be able to but all the Steve Nile and Ben Templesmith graphic novels whenever they come out.

3) Lastly I’d wish for World Peace.

By this time, I reckon the metaphorical genie would be dead and I’d be all out of wishes. Sure I’d have killed a genie but the world would be a much better place.

A small sacrifice if you ask me.

P.S

I've been asking a lot of people about this post and so far I'm not getting the responses I'd have expected. My friends are really breaking the

stereotypes at the moment. So far I've had various sex acts mentioned, Global domination, super powers etc. Dinosaurs have popped up a few times but hey, Dinosaurs are fucking legends, who wouldn't want to bring them back in the could? I mean LOOK...

He looks like he's begging. Or admiring your figure in that dress. You'd totally have one if you could....

Menhit: She who Slaughters.

There is one entrance to our office at work; through a set of automated doors (although only one door actually moves). This entrance/ exit is universal, used by staff and students alike. So why, when this is obvious, do the obnoxious students find it a good idea to stand infront of said door, in droves, with their cameras out, snapping pictures of themselves pulling idiotic faces while waiting for their tutor to let them into a room?
Why, when asked to move, do they completely ignore the small voice behind them, glancing briefly at the ginger girl in a black and white dress before turning back round and continuing to pretend that they’re Kate Moss?
Is it too much to ask that they step aside for perhaps 5 seconds while someone skates around them on her way back to her office, where she will sit, for another 5 hours, infront of a computer that hates her with everything it has nestled away in its motherboard, trying to do her job that enables them to sit in a room that has everything they need?

I have another month and 9 days left of this place. I would say I’ll miss it, but I know I wont. A few of the people there I’ll miss, yes, but nothing else of this place. I will not miss the computer that waits until I need to use it and then breaks (sometimes frying it’s own hard drive in a fit of spite and hatred, just so it can gloat at me when I stare at it in shock). Nor will I miss the printer that breaks even more than my computer (the printer seems to respond well to being kicked and sworn at, as my boss has demonstrated). I will actually be glad on the day I leave, as it means I will never have to see her face anymore, popping round the side of her pc, pulling that face that makes me wonder whether she is smiling at me, or grimacing (I have to admit, I’ve gotten pretty good knowing what facial expression she wants as a response).

I'm probably being too mean about the whole thing. It's not the colleges fault that the electronics of our out of the way office don't work. There are good parts about the place too. Like the cake, and the thank you emails I get when I've helped someone out. There's also the one person that comes to see me instead of emailing me, the one with the nice voice and beautiful eyes.

Those things I will miss.

Those things I will miss an awful lot.