To my Dearest Ophelia,

I'm sorry that I've filled your hard drive with nothing but music from a time that I didn't exist in.
I'm sorry that I've filled you with films that contain zombies and nothing else.
I'm sorry that I broke your number nine key when I dropped you down the stairs.
I'm also sorry for actually dropping you down the stairs. 3 times.
I'm sorry that I spilt Fanta all over you.
I'm sorry that I never shut you down.
You need updating but I keep putting it off and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I make you play Prince all the time.
And Meatloaf.
And Falco.
You contain pictures that should never have been taken!
You hold videos that should never have been recorded.

How I love you for not crashing more than the usual laptop.
How I love you for continuing to remain virus free even though you have no protection for nearly a year.
If you could understand I'd buy you a present!
But you are not self aware (yet).
Even so, how I love you.